Month: November 2022

What else would classify AA as a cult? The biggest book on this subject is AA: Cult or Cure by Charles Bufe who delineates a litany of conditions that qualify AA as a cult. I am not going to debate his criteria. Why? Words are like statistics-you form your opinion, then you make them fit the point you want to make… I frankly could take Bufe’s points and make a good argument that the Boy Scouts of America is a cult .

Dealing with the court system. Getting a DUI means that you will ultimately have to face your day in court. There is a lot of stress, time, and money involved in preparing for court, and when you are already bogged down by school or work, you don’t need this additional stress.

In some occupations, like home remodeling for example, being a jack of all trades might be okay. It might even be an advantage. But successfully defending a drunk driving case in a New Jersey court takes someone with a practice focused on drunk driving cases.

Step Four. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. This step is about looking at one’s own life and laying claim to wrongs done to self and others. Without the assurance of the presence of a High Power from Step 3, this would surely be an impossible step to complete thoroughly. Writing down resentments gives them less power and allows the alcoholic the chance to begin to let them go. Trusting in an infinite Higher Power makes this step easier because the alcoholic knows that he or she is not alone on the journey.

There it is. It’s not a “program”. It’s not group therapy or a cult. It’s a way of life. In my experience this definition is right on the money. Yet alcoholics anonymous is not my whole life, just it’s core. When I try to practice the principles embodied in those steps in all my activities, things go better even if I don’t know why.


First, you have to ask yourself this question: Even though it is my friend I am worried about, is my own drinking able to withstand examination? You may be inhibited to speak with your friend about his or her drinking problem because you do not want to risk the inquiry that is sure to follow. If you drink more than your friend it is only natural that you have hesitancy to press the point.

Take care of drunk friends and strangers: Make sure that the group assigns who will be the one that will take care of drunken folks on the way home. No person should be subject to caring for those who have alcohol-induced symptoms while making sure they get home safe.

Wrong. You can make a decision in your life by stopping your alcohol habit. You can take charge of your own life. You can make your own decisions about everything else so why not the decision to quit alcohol?

Fine: You will pay a fine of from $500 to $1000. The fine is doubled, however, if your blood alcohol level (BAL) is 0.15 or higher or there is a minor in the vehicle.


Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) organizes meetings all over the world to help those who have a desire to stop drinking. You can also receive education, information, and support to help you stop drinking by asking your doctor, calling an alcohol treatment hotline, or asking your local hospital or alcohol treatment facility.

F.A. (Food Addicts In Recovery Anonymous) is also very strict like CEA-HOW. Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous expect you to get a sponsor almost immediately, and they won’t let you share (stand up and speak about yourself) until you have at least 30 days of abstinence. That means you have to follow their food plan exactly and be in daily contact with your sponsor, with no slip ups. F.A. do not have their own books on food addiction or weight loss, but they do have a Guide to Living Abstinently and other leaflets and booklets. At F.A. meetings they read excerpts from the Big Book of alcoholics anonymous.

If you have been drinking and driving and you get stopped by a police, there is no question that you would taken to jail at least for a night to sober up. If this is your first offence, you will be warned, a proper report will be created and you are let off. However, the penalties for subsequent arrests for drunk driving would be far more serious. Depending on the level of alcohol in your blood, you will be punished. Many states across the US require you to submit the blood alcohol tests. If you refuse, then you are faced with a higher penalty.

Ironically, once a loved one learns to detach from the behaviors of the alcoholic and starts taking care of their emotional and spiritual well being is when the alcoholic realizes they have a drinking problem. You see, when a loved one is too emotionally consumed with the alcoholic and their negative behaviors it keeps the alcoholic stuck in the addiction. This is because they don’t have to take responsibility for it if you are already doing it for them.

If you’re not ready to speak what’s most important to you about the drinking, know that there is support to assist you in sorting through and figuring your best options. You do this at a pace that is right for you.

In rare instances people manage to stop drinking and overcome an addiction successfully by themselves and without any outside help. But why make it hard for yourself? Being in the middle of an addiction or problem with alcohol is usually a very lonely place to be.

There are many ways your BAC level can get affected, and if you have correct knowledge, you can protect yourself against getting charged with drunk driving. Keep in mind that your BAC would depend upon the number of drinks you take, the speed at which you drink, your gender, weight and the food you have taken.

Call a sober friend or family member. Many people don’t like spending the night in a strange bed. If you are drunk and find that you want to spend the night at home, call someone you know who is sober and will pick you up.

A host of preventative efforts are made to deter drunk driving. They range from public information commercials, the broadcasting of horror stories from crashes and the very public display of police check points. Logically, all make sense as deterrents, but there is one problem. By definition, a person that has been tossing down adult beverages all night is not making logical decisions. State governments use the concept of fear to address this issue.

So how would know for sure that you have a drinking problem? You need to start taking steps and asking yourself some serious questions about your behaviour. You might think diagnosing any illness like drinking is simple, and it is if you follow the right process like diagnosing anything else.


Permissive: In this type of family, the children are made to choose from options. There is a democratic way to select on what you feel is right for you. A child is allowed to make decisions and for every decision he makes, he must be able to justify it. The outcome of whatever these kids do will depend on how they handle every situation there is and the parents don’t even get the blame for it. It would always be “their” choice as the parents would aver.

Luckily, I have learned some better methods of dealing with these sorts of challenges. Instead of getting drunk I sent an email to my CPA letting her know about the letter. I then found a quiet spot and asked God to please handle this problem for me since I did not have the tools do so myself. My next thought was to call my alcoholics anonymous sponsor and let him know what was going on.

The fact of the matter is a drunk driver is over 700 times more likely to get involved in a deadly accident as opposed to a driver that is completely sober. The startling fact of the matter is that most drunk drivers who get involved in accidents have a history of prior DWI arrests. Statistics show that most are 25 – 35 years old and male, but of course that is only a statistic. There are drunk drivers of all ages, male and female.

The first half of this step – admitting powerlessness over alcohol – was merely a self perception but my actions were not aligned with this thought. If I truly knew that I was powerless over alcohol, then it makes no sense that hundreds of times I went out to ‘just have a few’. I always failed at this. It would be the same thing if every day I went out in the front yard and tried to push over a large oak tree. If I truly knew I could not uproot the tree, why would I keep trying to push it over? Somewhere deep inside me, I continued for years to believe that I could control my drinking on my own. In my mind, one day I was eventually going to drop that oak tree to the ground.

Some newcomers to alcoholics anonymous are put off by talk of “God” or “faith” or “spirituality”. That’s understandable since many of us had negative experiences in church at some point. AA members emphasize that the organization does not endorse or claim affiliation with ANY organized religion. Instead, they say, AA is a program that teaches a design for living that relies on some power outside of ourselves. Some members call this power God, but the power can go by any name the member chooses.

First of all, determine the extent of your problem. You can figure this out by doing some careful experiments. Understand that you have to take this exercise seriously or it will not reveal anything meaningful to you.

Alcohol abuse causes your brain to get out of balance. That’s why alcoholics seem to only be able to think about their next drink. The addicted brain of an alcoholic has a chemical dependency. It comes to rely on you giving it more alcohol. It needs it to handle brain function. Your brain’s neurotransmitters that handled these tasks got depleted. Ironically, they get replaced by the very thing that depleted them – alcohol.

As a generalization, it is better to avoid driving in occasions where drinking is involved. In fact, there are some states that arrest drivers who have a BAC level which is below the legal limit. This applies to those who are believed to show signs of impairment as witnessed by the law enforcement officer through the driver’s reactions and behavior in driving. While drunk driving can endanger other people’s lives, it can also put the driver’s own safety at risk. For this, it is safe to say that the only BAC level that should be allowed for those who are driving is.00.

Now if you do these two 30 day trials and take them seriously then you should learn quite a bit about the true nature of your drinking problem. If you do not struggle with either experiment, then chances are pretty good that you either do not have a drinking problem, or that you are so early in the stages of your problem that it is very easy for you to control it. This is the best case scenario.

The alcoholic loves all the negative attention you give them such as the fussing over them when they drink, arguing to them about their drinking, babying them by putting them to bed, cleaning up messes they make while drinking, paying their fines, and not to mention giving them money for alcohol. What is left for them to do? Loved ones enable and they don’t even know it! Enabling is synonymous with taking responsibility when it comes to being married to an alcoholic.

The second question to ask yourself is this: “Can I be happy and content when not drinking at all?” Another variation of this question is to see if you are happy and content when limiting yourself to only one drink per day. If you are trying to limit your drinks to one per day and you are having a hard time doing it, then that is a strong indicator right there. If you have a lot of resentment about the fact that you have to control your drinking in a situation, then that is a red flag as well. These questions that you ask yourself are not so important; what is important is the honesty with which you answer them for yourself.

Alcohol has a funny place in modern culture. On one hand drinking is widely accepted. The beer and liquor industries spend a fortune advertising their products. With long-term exposure to these messages, it’s easy to believe that we should all be drinking every day.

Prayer is simply talking to our Higher Power. Alcoholics Anonymous teaches we should spend most of our prayer time thanking God for all of our blessings. We should not ask Him for anything for ourselves, except where it directly benefits someone else.

You might not be aware of how common drinking and driving accidents are or who is at risk. drunk driving accidents are not limited to adults. In 2008 one out of every 7 drivers killed in a drunk driving accident was under the age of 21. This is below the legal drinking age.

I happen to know that this particular parent’s son has a serious drinking problem. Not only does he drink too often and too much (often during school), he also drives when he drinks. Yet, his parents refuse to acknowledge that he drinks at all, much less has a drinking problem.


Making a plan is the second step in beating alcohol. choose when you are going to stop drinking. Set a time to evaluate your plan to see if it is working and whether you are able to stop drinking on your own. Help from organizations such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or individual therapy is can be used to help you reach your goal.

Some newcomers to alcoholics anonymous are put off by talk of “God” or “faith” or “spirituality”. That’s understandable since many of us had negative experiences in church at some point. AA members emphasize that the organization does not endorse or claim affiliation with ANY organized religion. Instead, they say, AA is a program that teaches a design for living that relies on some power outside of ourselves. Some members call this power God, but the power can go by any name the member chooses.

I have since learned that the program of Alcoholics Anonymous is not for the people who need it- it’s for the people who want it. All I knew is that I could not continue in the awful self-imposed prison in which I was living.

This may contradict the above statement, but don’t immediately reach for the lawyer who’s face is plastered all over billboards and in TV commercials. While this person may be popular and well-known, these firms tend to be very high-volume, meaning you’ll be just a number to them. You want a firm who values quality over quantity, who will know you by name.

alcoholics anonymous is not a religious organization. It is a group of people who gather in a room, to share their experience, strength, and hope. To help one another to get sober, stay sober, and live a healthy life. It is a group based entirely on unity.

Alcohol education courses typically begin with an alcohol assessment. This is done by a counselor and is used to determine what treatment and education is required. Basically, the test is used to determine if your offense was an isolated event or if you have an addiction to alcohol.


It is also disheartening to see the youth indulge in such atrocities at such a young age itself. It aims to put a stop to this. All the campaigning and walks undertaken by this organization has made the government pass new rules and laws that have made the rules and penalties move harsher and stricter. The zero tolerance law (which states that the BAC limit should not exceed 0.00% in the case of youth and commercial drivers) is one example of such measures.

By taking little actions in ways that align with your inner knowing you start to empower yourself. I understand that it may not seem like it now, but as the process of empowering yourself enfolds, you will view your life from a much more hopeful perspective.

Obviously, not every teenager has a drinking problem. But the harsh reality is this — like it or not, your kids will try cigarettes, alcohol and at least one recreational drug. Their behavior afterwards, and the choices they continue to make regarding alcohol and drugs, will depend to a large extent on your reaction to those experiments.

This part of step eight suggests willingness, which we probably have in general. But, we need to be ready to fix our mistakes with ALL persons in our life. Most of us have at least one person that trips us up.

Driving under the influence (DUI), driving while intoxicated (DWI) and operating under the influence (OUI) all referred to the same offense, driving drunk. It was 1910 when New York designed laws for drunk driving. They are, in fact, the very first state to come up with such laws. California followed until all 50 states adapted the said laws.

Look out for temptations – Always be attentive for situations, individuals, times and locations you’re a lot more vulnerable to drinking. Make a plan for combating such temptations if you come across them.

Here you are a driver singing off-tune, one moment just zipping along. Then you are blinded by colorful flashing strobe beams and a foot-long flashlight jabbed three inches from your eyeballs. Next you are trying to walk a straight narrow line instead of enjoying the night fantastic. Although now it might be more like a purple haze.

Your answers are usually analyzed and your results are based on the answers. Again these results will give you a good indication of it there is a problem or not.

Members of alcoholics anonymous who arrive at step six will be asked to make another important decision. They will be asked to let go of ALL of their defects of character.

More commonly though, members describe a more gradual spiritual awakening. By spending time learning to think of others first and rely on God’s will, rather than their own will, they become more spiritual and less worldly.

Meditation is the second, often overlooked, part of communicating with our Higher Power. Our spiritual life should be a conversation. That means we do some talking and some listening. Meditation is the listening part of the conversation.

What about the driving itself? Many people are surprised to learn that the car doesn’t have to be moving to get a DUI in most states. Let’s say you and your loved one spend a night out on the town. You are at a bar and get in an argument. The two of you head out to the car to have a personal chat. It is winter, so you fire up the car to generate some heat. A police officer watches you do this and thinks you are drunk. The officer can charge you for drunk driving since the engine is on. It does not matter that you are just sitting there.

Every person should be able to identify if a person dear to them might have a drinking problem. The hardest part would always be to get an alcoholic to admit he has a problem. If you feel like your life will not function properly without alcohol in your system, then you definitely have a problem. If you feel like you have a problem, you should seek professional help, and you must decide to stop drinking now. Do not waste any time because every second you let pass would equal to a lost opportunity to be better.


The alcoholic loves all the negative attention you give them such as the fussing over them when they drink, arguing to them about their drinking, babying them by putting them to bed, cleaning up messes they make while drinking, paying their fines, and not to mention giving them money for alcohol. What is left for them to do? Loved ones enable and they don’t even know it! Enabling is synonymous with taking responsibility when it comes to being married to an alcoholic.

Your answers are usually analyzed and your results are based on the answers. Again these results will give you a good indication of it there is a problem or not.

I received many emails and comments in response to that post. Many of those commenting believed that alcoholics anonymous (AA) is a cult. I frankly take those comments with a grain of salt. All of them were from former AA members. When you are at a low point in your life and counting on something to help you turn that life around but that something does not work, what do you do? You don’t look to yourself because you know you cannot change by yourself. You blame everyone else. You blame the program. You dismiss, you denigrate, you destroy. You do anything except take personal responsibility for your failure. I know this because I have been at that low point. Turning to AA for assistance in moving past that point does not make AA a cult; it makes you human.

Reward yourself. Use the money you once spent on drinking to do something fun with your family or friends. Go out to eat, see a movie, or play sports or a game.

Step 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. Authentically working Step 11 maintains a connection with one’s Higher Power. Asking for help, praying when one wakes up and lies down, giving thanks, meditating-these are all means by which the recovering alcoholic remains humble and relinquishes control to their Higher Power.

What about the driving itself? Many people are surprised to learn that the car doesn’t have to be moving to get a DUI in most states. Let’s say you and your loved one spend a night out on the town. You are at a bar and get in an argument. The two of you head out to the car to have a personal chat. It is winter, so you fire up the car to generate some heat. A police officer watches you do this and thinks you are drunk. The officer can charge you for drunk driving since the engine is on. It does not matter that you are just sitting there.

Dealing with the teen drinking issue has to be addressed as a problem of its own. The age will vary when it comes time for the young teen to start experimenting with it. How you handle it is going to be critical in the final outcome. That doesn’t mean to say that if the young person ends up with a drinking problem that its your fault. You do have to face the issue though, and your approach can have an impact.


Drinking alone can exacerbate these feelings of loneliness. In fact drinking tends to amplify the mood you were in before you picked up the first drink. These feelings of loneliness can lead to picking up and calling people you know on the phone, announcing to the world that you’re drunk, or worse, may lead you to get in the car and either just take a drive or go visiting. Under some circumstances you don’t even have to leave the house to damage your reputation.